Saturday, March 28, 2009

My First Diets

I was twelve when I was put on my first diet. To this day, I don't understand why I was told I needed to lose weight. I was 5'10" and weighed somewhere around 130 - 150 which is totally normal. I can't remember exactly what type of diet I was put on, but I do remember sneaking Ayd's chocolate appetite suppressing candy topped with peanut butter. It was the only "sweet" in the house. I'd also mix Hershey's syrup with shredded coconut, put a tiny bit of water in with hot chocolate to make "icing" and wrapped white table sugar in American cheese slices. I remember starting to hide food under my bed and stealing food from the parents of the kids I babysat or owners of the dogs I walked. I didn't know how to cook yet and sweets were all I thought of to take.

When I was sixteen, my grandmother told me that unless I lost twenty pounds before coming to visit her and my grandfather in California, they would send me on the next plane back. They would be sure of this because they would weigh me at the airport. Two weeks before I left, I began starving myself. I would eat maybe an ounce or two of food, but the only other thing that passed my lips was Tab. In the last couple of days, I would sit on the toilet for hours, praying that I would pass everything out of my body. As you can imagine, I was pretty constipated. So I would reach up in my vagina and push the hard poop out. The day before I left, I broke out in hives. They didn't weigh me but told me how terrific I looked. While I was there, I prayed for them to both leave for the day so I could forage for what I could to eat. Again, there were no sweets available, so I made due with some semi-sweet chocolate chips and white baking chocolate.

At eighteen or so, I went on the Cambridge diet. This was a meal replacement drink for two of my meals, then my mother or grandmother would watch and comment on whatever I ate for the third meal.

I wasn't actually overweight until a couple months later and wasn't obese until I was in my twenties. I started truly gaining weight once I was able to buy my own food and I hit college where my family wasn't keeping an eye on what I did 24x7.


  1. I'm stunned by the fact that you were forced to diet so young and for what seems like no reason. With such restrictions placed on you, no wonder you binged when you had control yourself. I know whenever I was told not to do something, I automatically went the opposite way, even if it was harmful.

    I'm cheering for you, Morphy! You can do this!

  2. I might have given the impression that I was starved, that wasn't the case. It was a "normal" diet, but considering that I was a good weight, any restriction in food made me hungry.

  3. Also, I was active. I walked and/or biked miles a day plus one hour of physical education and I loved to roller skate. We lived in Florida, so I also did a lot of swimming and playing in pools.

    It's another reason I started gaining weight once I was an adult, I wasn't active like that anymore.


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