Monday, May 30, 2011

Morph: 1 - Plateau: 0

Finally! I'm so proud of myself that I didn't give up. I kept on trucking and made it through the other side. I've lost five pounds. Whoo hoo! I reduced my calories a little and tried to stay at the low end of my range if not under a bit. I increased my activity and water. In the past, I would have given up weeks ago. But I've gotten to the point where I can't give up anymore. I'm tired of losing weight I've already lost numerous times. Giving up and binging doesn't get me anywhere. In a year, I need to be able to look for at least a part time job and I can't do that unless I've lost enough weight to be able to walk around.

Bad news is that the bathing suit bottom didn't fit. They are sending me the largest bottom they have. I am hoping that will work. If not, I'll have to see if I can order some men's bathing trunks.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Same Stuff, Different Day

It's been a month since I've lost any weight. I'm plateaued and depressed. Really don't have anything to say this week.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Not feeling up to saying much. Still not doing anything different than I did last month when I lost twenty pounds and still gaining, albeit slowly. Am going to add more fruits and vegetables plus more activity and will try to stay on the low end of my calorie range. Another week of this and I will not be in a happy place. Heck, I'm not in one now.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Not a Happy Camper

I was so close to the 100 pound lost mark that I started weighing every day. 574. 574. 573. 574. Then finally 572. Yay! I trumpeted to everyone on SparkPeople, Facebook, etc. And what happens on my "official" weigh in day? I'm up three pounds to 575. A one pound gain since my last weigh in. And I couldn't even tell you why. I've been within my calorie range all but two days of the last nine - one was over by only 100 calories, the other by 400. So it's not like I binged. Not only that, but all the other weeks I've lost four to five pounds, I've had at least one day a week where I was a few hundred calories over.

I got on the scale, off, on, off, on. Then burst into tears. I know all the things to say: water weight, sodium intake, it's just one week, normal fluctuations. But it still hurts. I still feel frustrated. It was an emotional blow. I have feelings of wanting to give up. Like nothing I'm able to do is going to get this weight off. But then I shake my head and keep plodding forward. I'll be especially careful this week and try to stay on the low side of my range, if not a little under.

It just makes me want to cry. I'm so sad.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

You'd Think I'd Learn

We unexpectedly went out to dinner on Friday night and I overate. Again. The food was delicious. We went to a place called Jake's. We got the pot sticker appetizer and split it. I had a side Caesar salad, a patty melt, fries and we split a lemon cheesecake dessert. My stomach hurt so badly when we got out to the truck. I've been very good about staying within my calorie range - 2,400 to 2,600. And I wasn't that far over - 3,000 calories. But still, it was too much food since I've been so careful over the last month. My stomach has shrunk a bit. In the last 10 days, it's the only day I was significantly over my range.

If I had planned ahead, I would have stuck with the patty melt and fries and splitting either the dessert or appetizer. When I go out to eat, I eat what I like, so I wouldn't have changed to a different entree. I'm of the school "eat anything you like, but don't eat everything you'd like" that I learned in binge eating classes. I forgot to pay attention to how full I was getting though. A lesson I still struggle with from those classes.

So the lesson is... plan ahead. If I plan the amount, I won't get overly full and while I can enjoy myself, I won't pay for it afterward by being in pain and nauseated.