Reason #2 Car Exiting

Because of my size, when I get out of my car, my body rubs hard against the steering wheel. This causes the skin above my right hip to split. I get four to six inch long splits about a quarter of an inch deep and they bleed. Not only that it freaking HURTS. I want to be able to go places in my car without injuring myself every time.

Reason #1 Toe Nails

My toe nails need to be clipped. I am unable to reach them so my husband has to do it. I have funky nails that make a sharp turn into the nail bed, rather like an upside down "U," which can get painful. If I were doing it by myself, I trim them in such a way that it would hurt the least, but since hubby has to do it by feel and look, it can be very painful to have them trimmed. Add that I am reluctant to add anymore to his plate, I can go months without getting them cut which just adds to the problem.

I want to be able to trim my nails on my own and as often as is needed.

About Me

I've had requests for more personal information. I don't know how comfortable I am with that but I can share a little bit. I'll be celebrating my 20th anniversary with my wonderful husband this summer. We have no kids and two dogs. One is a 15 year old Cockapoo and the other is a 3 year old Shih-Tzu/Pomeranian. We live in Minnesota.

To see what I'm currently reading, check out Morph's May Reading Challenge at LibraryThing.

I feel so badly for my husband. Because of my weight, he has to do everything - grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, dog care, breakfast, everything around the house, the lawn, vet visits, errands, the library. Just everything. I am surprised he still loves me and hangs around.

I've got to lose this weight. To give him his life back, if not my own. He's getting older and eventually he's not going to be able to do everything. Especially heaving that heavy-duty 40 pound wheelchair in and out of the trunk and pushing me around.

Finally Some Movement

First, I didn't journal my food or exercise last week, but this week I have done so and have lost a couple of pounds. I definitely have hypothyroidism (low thyroid) which is a blessing in disguise. The medication should increase my energy level as well as my metabolism which will make it easier to lose weight. Yay! It will be a few weeks before it starts taking effect, but I'll wait! Of greater concern is the tests on my kidney function - too much protein in the outflow. So, I'll be seeing a nephrologist (kidney specialist) come Tuesday.

No Real Change

I had a bad gain last week and I didn't lose any of it this week. I received lab results back and there seem to be some issues with my kidneys and thyroid. So I go in for more tests. I imagine they are part of the issue. The other issue is my need to focus on what needs to be done and make it my highest priority. This week my goal is journaling my food 100% of the time and doing my chair exercises at least five days.

I Hate the Scale

I weighed in yesterday morning and gained so much I was appalled. I'm not going into it here, but it was a double digit gain which is ridiculous because I did NOT eat that much and I'm not PMSing. I wish my body were a bit more logical when it came to weight loss. There are weeks when I figure I haven't lost a thing or even gained and instead I'll lose a lot. Then there are the weeks, like this week, when I think I'll maintain and instead I'll gain a lot. Then there are the times when I think I've lost and I've gained! There seems to be no rhyme or reason except when I starve myself. This doesn't actually happen on purpose but when I was ill last year I lost a lot of weight very quickly as I wasn't eating. It just peeled off me.

So this week I'm being very careful to journal my food, drink my water, exercise, get at least three fruits and vegetables in a day, etc. Hopefully next week this quick gain will be a quick loss and I can get back on track to some serious weight loss.

Back for now

I haven't posted for various reasons. I'm trying again to post at least on a weekly basis. I find it hard to get motivated to do so when I'm not losing weight. Thankfully, I'm not gaining. I've been steady around 610 since January. I need to get focused again and get this weight off. I can't seem to keep motivated for more than a couple weeks. This will be such a long battle and being home alone isn't making it any easier. But if I don't lose the weight, I won't be able to get out to counter the loneliness. Another vicious cycle. I'm not feeling the motivation, I'm tired physically and emotionally. The community at SparkPeople helps, but I need more meat people in my life.