Monday, November 26, 2012


I've been struggling for the last month and haven't posted. I don't like posting when I'm struggling for some reason. I feel like a loser during those times. I was up to 513 and am now back down to 506. My goal was to be under 500 by the end of the month. I won't make it and I'm disappointed in myself.

Most of it is emotional eating. Funny, I didn't overeat when my husband lost his job, but when he got a new one, watch out! I was over my calorie range for ten days in a row. Ew? And now we are in the midst of a cancer scare. He might have retinal cancer and it is stressing us out. I've got my eating mostly back under control and have lost what I gained. I can't tell you how much I HATE having to re-lose weight. I'm still averaging 2300 calories a day and I want to run 2000 - 2200. I'll get there, I suppose.

I also really need to focus on exercising consistently. My biggest barrier there is fatigue. I'm so tired all the time. Just the thought of exercising exhausts me. I know that eventually exercise will increase my energy level but it will take weeks or months until I get to that point. Perhaps after my husband's exam on Monday and we know what is going one way or the other, I'll have the gumption to get going on that.

Meanwhile, the spammers have come out in droves. Be grateful that I moderate comments. Yeah, it may take time for your comment to show up, but at least you aren't seeing all the spam comments I'm getting. Sheesh!


  1. hello. i am not obese but i found your blog. some of what you are going through hurts my heart. but i am glad that you are succeeding in your stated goals to better your life. good luck and keep going - you can do it! have an awesome day!

  2. Hi Morphy! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, slumpy months happen (both in reading and in weight). Not that you should excuse it while it's happening...but once it's happened there's nothing you can do about it but accept that you had a bad month and make the next one better. :) Regret will just be wasted energy that you could have used exercising.

    I hope your husband's exam goes well! Sending good vibes his way.

    That's funny that you get so many spammers. I get a few, but my spam filter always catches them. I've only had ONE post that got through the filter. Perhaps they're worse on health blogs than on book blogs?

  3. I wish both you and your husband well! Here's hoping everything turns out for the best :) Keep focusing on losing the weight, don't let stress get the better of you. You can't control your emotions, but you can control how you deal with them. Whenever I want to emotionally eat, I give in a little and then put it down and switch to water or popcorn, something low calorie that will fill me up. Remember, if you get close to your calorie limit for the day, it will taste just as good tomorrow as it does now. Emotional eating feels good, but it will only harm you. Please keep doing your best, I will continue to have faith in you!

  4. I can relate to the frustration and disappointment, the shutting down and not wanting to post. Just keep in mind at the end of the day that you are human and dwelling on the setbacks will only increase emotional eating and decrease your progress. You are doing amazing and are an inspiration to many people, so when you struggle let those cheering you on and those of us facing our own demons right along with you help prop you up and help encourage you to keep going. Its not an easy path to follow but with positive people walking next to you maybe it wont seem as bad. I look forward to your next update, hopefully with positive news regarding your husband, I cannot imagine the stress and fear you must be feeling in that regard. As before e-hugs from Canada.

  5. I applaud your perseverance and determination to lose weight. However I can't understand how anyone can be over 600 lbs. if I overeat I get really sick and no I am not bulimic. I can't get over 120 lbs.


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