My basic issue of growth is how to deal with fear in a functional manner. Most of my life has been spent in the avoidance of fear and anxiety. I've been hiding from it as long as I can remember. It's the fears of abandonment, loneliness and rejection. The irony is that the activities I've used to cope, especially eating, have increased my isolation. I've worked at cross-purposes with myself.
My lesson is that I need to stop avoiding life and achieving my goals due to fear. To "feel the fear and do it anyway" as Susan Jeffers says. Because avoiding the fear has exacerbated my situation and made it more likely for people to reject and abandon me.
I also need to understand and accept that I'm of person of value just as I am at this moment. That rejection isn't automatic emotional torment and that when people reject me, it's more about them than about me.
When I was growing up, avoidance was the only way I could cope with the dysfunction in my family. I hadn't been taught any other way and it sometimes it simply wasn't safe to "be there." But it's gone on too long. I'm in mid-life. I've been running from negative emotions for almost 25 adult years and it's not working. It's time to try something else.
It's time to be courageous and not give into the fear. Acknowledge it. Then put it on the back-burner. Fear doesn't need to be the main course anymore.