Past the 500 Mark!

I finally did it! I made it past the 500 mark and now am in the 400's for the first time in over a decade, if not longer. Slow but sure is winning this race.

My blog got mentioned in Reddit and some of the comments were absolutely vicious. Some people were saying I should be losing weight faster if I were "really" trying. But you know what? How many of those super morbidly obese people who lost weight faster put it right back on? I'm making permanent lifestyle changes and the weight is staying off. I'm not yo-yo dieting here.

People assume that I ate 10,000 to 15,000 calories a day. Well, no, I wasn't. My metabolism was tested and just to maintain my current weight I only need to eat 3,000 calories a day. That's right. Just 3,000 calories. So, to lose 2 pounds a week, I eat around 2,000 calories a day. There isn't any way for me to lose it faster in a healthy manner.

Just 98 more pounds and the doctors will be able to take the "apron" off and I'll be able to take care of my own hygiene. I'll be thrilled out of my mind. I'll be able to walk without my knees having to lift my belly out of the way with each step. I'll be able to sit on the couch without needing the ottoman to rest my belly on. I can't wait!

Struggling

I've been struggling for the last month and haven't posted. I don't like posting when I'm struggling for some reason. I feel like a loser during those times. I was up to 513 and am now back down to 506. My goal was to be under 500 by the end of the month. I won't make it and I'm disappointed in myself.

Most of it is emotional eating. Funny, I didn't overeat when my husband lost his job, but when he got a new one, watch out! I was over my calorie range for ten days in a row. Ew? And now we are in the midst of a cancer scare. He might have retinal cancer and it is stressing us out. I've got my eating mostly back under control and have lost what I gained. I can't tell you how much I HATE having to re-lose weight. I'm still averaging 2300 calories a day and I want to run 2000 - 2200. I'll get there, I suppose.

I also really need to focus on exercising consistently. My biggest barrier there is fatigue. I'm so tired all the time. Just the thought of exercising exhausts me. I know that eventually exercise will increase my energy level but it will take weeks or months until I get to that point. Perhaps after my husband's exam on Monday and we know what is going one way or the other, I'll have the gumption to get going on that.

Meanwhile, the spammers have come out in droves. Be grateful that I moderate comments. Yeah, it may take time for your comment to show up, but at least you aren't seeing all the spam comments I'm getting. Sheesh!

Autumn Arrives Soon

Not much to report on this week. I gained a pound but it's not entirely unexpected as I ate out three times in the last three days. While I was careful with my calories, it was highly processed, sodium-laden food. I'll be super careful this week and with any luck will make up for it next weigh-in.

I've updated my 101 Goals in 1000 days. Let's see if I do a better job this time!

I think I tried to do too much last week and have run myself down physically. I need to pace myself better so I canceled an outing today. While I'm a little bummed, I can only do so much.

Week 2 of Plateau Breakage

Another two pounds down. Yay! This just confirms that I made the right choice in stopping the anti-depressants. I saw the weight loss doctor and she wasn't really thrilled with me, "It may take a few weeks for you to see the effects." Blah blah blah. Whatever. Anti-depressants have never helped me that much. Talk therapy and instructional classes have helped me a lot more.

I read Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn. I didn't learn anything new really. I went to a binge eating program a few years ago that got me started on my weight loss journey and I learned much of the information covered in the book back then - stop dieting, don't restrict foods, eat regularly, etc. What I did find interesting was some characteristics of binge eaters: low self-esteem, perfectionism, difficulty coping with stress. Yep, yep, and yep. I wish there had been more advice on dealing with those particular issues.

I'm a social butterfly this week. Going to the pool, have four "dates" with friends, volunteer work. I'm going to need to conserve my energy. Whew!

That's More Like It!

I just knew it was the anti-depressant! I weaned myself off and now I'm regular and I had a nice loss this week. And that's with a slightly higher calorie intake this last week. I ran about 2400 calories a day.

Plus my husband is back at work! He's a tired puppy tonight though. He has to get used to an eight-hour day on his feet after two months goofing off in front of his computer. He said, "It's an ibuprofen night tonight."

It's going to be a busy week. I have a lot of things planned and was counting on him being there to chauffeur me around. (Not that I'm complaining.) Instead I'll be using MetroMobility. Oh fun, oh joy. Wednesday is wound care and lunch at church. Thursday is book club. Friday morning I'll be at the receptionist desk at church then I meet with my weight loss doctor in the afternoon. Sunday I'm meeting up with a friend from LibraryThing. Wheee!

Second Verse, Same as the First

Still no movement on the scale. Since I'm not liking the side effects of the Celexa - no weight loss, constipation, some other stuff even more personal I won't go into, little help with the depression - I'm going to wean myself off it and see if it helps. Also, I have a goal of doing 10 minutes of exercise for 30 days in a row and I started that today. Other than that, there isn't a whole lot more I can do other than what I am doing. I averaged 2209 calories a day for the month. Just 9 calories over my allowed range. And 87% of my days were under 2500 calories.

On another note, there is a local drive in that has fried chicken that we have always loved. Since they were closing for the season (they are closed from October through March), we decided to get one last fix of fried chicken. Afterward, I wondered why I bothered. I think I've lost the taste for it. This is a good thing because the meal always puts me over my calories for the day. And... well... it's FRIED.

Up, Down and All Around

I feel like I'm at a standstill with my weight loss. I had some good losses then gained again this week. I'm only one pound ahead from a month ago. Meh. I'll keep plugging away. I had such great losses a few months ago and now it's come to almost a near stop. I'm frustrated. It just peeled away and now... nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Since my husband has been out of work, I haven't been able to go to the rehab pool as we simply couldn't afford the fees, as low as they were. But I am blessed by being a member of a wonderful church and they have generously donated the money for me to go again. I can't wait to get back in the pool.

It's been a rough few weeks emotionally, but I've managed to not have one binge. Not ONE binge since I started on this new weight loss journey in May. Did you hear that? NOT ONE! That is one success I have to give myself a pat on the back for. Now if it would just show on the (*^(*^$(*^@@# scale!